PST-SUN Week 0 Extreme Low Effort Power Rankings

Forrest Ashmore
2 min readSep 12, 2019

Aight, Hobo actually wrote a decently long power ranking (despite his opinions being terrible), so I’m obligated to make something. I’m lazy though, so we’re doing ABRIDGED POWER RANKINGS. Teams will be in 4 tiers, in rough order of best to worst (and by that I mean its in whatever order came out when I stared at the list and started grabbing teams). Each team will be accompanied by 5 words or less that describe my general thoughts about the players, their chances, or something else entirely. Opinions not to be taken seriously.

2ND OVERALL ITACHI TIER

PLAYOFF LOCKS

MAPPO: ITACHI EGO > INK DISBAND RATE

SHARINGAN: EVERYONE OWNS, IGNORE ASH WORDCLOUD

BSVSVJ: GAFSTACK, RYRK COACHIN FREAKINCHAIR, UNSTOPPABLE

JABINSKIZ: STAYLIN + MODERATELY COMPETENT PLAYERS

CLARE: LD2L OWNS, BIASED + WRONG PROBABLY

FATSLOTH: SLOTH + KEPLER OWN, IDC OTHERS

HOBO: 3 COMPETENT PLAYERS, UNLIKE OTHER TEAMS

MOCA: RATMAN VALUE >>>> MOCA HEROPOOL

2ND PICK ITACHI TIER

PROB PLAYOFFS, SOME QUESTION MARKS

FLYINGRETARD: FN MID POG, FN CARRY = ?????

ULTRAGUNNER: TOP 2 OWN, OTHERS EXCEPTIONALLY QUESTIONABLE

7:30: CAPTAIN PMA, WILL CONTROL FINITE

BBTM: TOP 3 DRAFT + LD2L BOMB DEPLOYED

SKATER: SKATER WILL WIN GAMES SOLO

DOOMCOW: WHOLESOME STACK + DOOMCOW GOD BLESS

GIVE UP DUDE: 109 = REFORMED, PLAYOFFS = SECURED

CRAP: CRAPDADDY + KABO + DERPY :BLOBMELT:

VEL: LEAST SHIT VEL TEAM EVER

ITACHI DISCORD PERSONA TIER:

LOTS OF QUESTION MARKS, COULD BE GOOD THOUGH

MEERKAT: GAMBLING THAT LUTZ IS GOOD

KALIVUNKKA: MAYBE HE GETS KUNKKA SOMETIMES

MANTIS: MANTIS TEAM WHO KNOWS MAN

STEVEN: FRIENDSTACK COOL BUT IDK MAN

JENNY: KILLUAS GOOD, ??? EVERYONE ELSE

AEOS: HINGES ON PHANTASMAL RUST

DEADPREZ: GOOD PLAYERS BUT WHO CARRIES

BURRA: MOST AVERAGE LOOKING TEAM EVER

CLUELESS: THEY DONT KNOW THEIR ROLES

LUCKY: BIRD VALUE AT 4000, ADRIAN COOL

POLO: POLO + 4 SUPPORTS, DRAFT DERAILED SOMEWHERE

STAREND: MOCKINGBIRD YIKES, STILL OK LOOKING

ITACHI VS. CLARE MID TIER

PEPOCHRIST

KHILLASAURUS: REVISE RD2L CAPTAIN STANDARDS MAYBE

STONEDSPIRIT: IDK PPLE THEREFOR TRASH

JIVEE: AUG PEPEHANDS

BOX: STILL BETTER THAN BOX BLOGS

MAXIMUS: PERSONALITY CONFLICTS IMMINENT

SPIDEZ: ALL MID PLAYERS WHAT HAPPENED???

LEMONARDO: 2 ACTUAL CHIMPS ON TEAM YIKES

CHARLES: 3 ACTUAL CHIMPS ON TEAM YIKES

JONSQUID: DID HE PICK W/ A DARTBOARD?

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I’ll be back to regularly scheduled unabridged content next week with match predictions. Hopefully a few teams disband by then — if you’re gonna sperg out on your team, please do it sooner rather than later, thanks.

-Treebeard

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